Sunday 27th, 02:00am

After staying inside my lovely warm womb for an extra 11 days, I decided it was about time I had a look what my parents looked like. I'd had enough of those curries and hot baths anyway. Mummy got all cramped up, she probably thought it was Dheli Belly! By morning I was starting to feel the squeeze, but I was in no rush.

SUNday 27th, 10:30Pm

By the evening, I'm glad daddy managed to keep mummy calm 'cos she was not best chuffed about the pain. Nice background music though, it sounded like Clannad (I think).

Monday 28th, 02:14am

Well, I was ready for ages. Finally I can see my way clear to go. Hope I don't end up with a conehead! Gasp! It's cold out there! I'll scream the place down, that will help. Now, where's that food. Gimme food! Maybe if I scream some more....

Monday 28th, 05:30am

This was all far too much like hard work. I'm just gonna close my eyes for a bit. As the birthday girl, I can do what I like! Did I tell you I managed to throw up on my sleepsuit? Did it again just as mummy had changed it. This is fun! Had another go on my 3rd sleepsuit, only to find mummy had run out and put me back into the 2nd! Help! What are my parents like?!

Monday 28th, 4:15Pm

All that throwing up has made me hungry. Better have another feed to show I wasn't born yesterday. I'm glad we went home after that, the milk didn't half taste funny from that hospital food. Seat belt on, I'm taking no chances; I've no idea what daddy's driving is like!

Tuesday 29th, 03:25Am

This bed is just nowhere near as comfortable as my previous home. Mummy! Daddy! I'm awake. Stay awake till this is sorted. Food is better now though, can't get enough of it.

Tuesday 29th, 2:45Pm

Apparently I was taken all the way round Tesco's in the afternoon. 1 day old and I'm already having to do the shopping. But they don't sell the one thing I want! Boooooobs!

Hmmmm. I like Champagne. Somehow I just know I'm going to be drinking lots of it...

Wednesday 30th

Had a good night's sleep. Not sure about mummy and daddy though, but I'm sure they'll get used to it!

Lots of presents have started to arrive, with really cute clothes, toys and even a bunch of flowers. Well, I have just had my birthday of course!